Coping Skills: What are they? Four things we can add to help us use coping skills more effectively

While training to be a psychologist, I learned several coping techniques that I had to practice with my classmates before using them in therapy. I remember liking them for how helpful they were in managing unpleasant thoughts and emotions. But I also valued diving deeper into understanding those thoughts and how they affected us. With that being said. learning a few coping skills can ease our experiences in managing our feelings and finding solutions- or at least start talking about the root cause of the problems.

As mentioned in the American Psychological Association’s Dictionary, coping mechanisms are ways we can reduce unpleasant/uncomfortable emotions by adjusting our actions or ways of thinking. When we consider coping skills/coping mechanisms, they are essentially conscious ways we can reduce or distract from emotions like sadness, anxiety, stress, or at times anger in each moment ( Algorani & Gupta, 2023). Practicing specific coping skills can be especially helpful when we notice our emotions getting in the way of our actions. Some simple coping skills include- exercising, journalling, positive self-talk, and many more. Not every skill will be effective for each person but picking one that works for us is helpful.

But many times, they can -especially if use coping skills to only manage emotions- have short-term benefits (mostly) if we avoid understanding the root cause or taking action steps to address the problem itself.

Let’s say B frequently gets a cough and cold during winter and takes adequate medications to manage the symptoms, there is a chance that the symptoms might return a few months later or next year. What B could also do is check whether their immunity is compromised, form habits around their diet and make changes in their lifestyles to reduce the chances of the cold happening again. This in no way means that B is doing something wrong by taking the medicines; it also does not guarantee that the cold will never occur again. However, making the changes to understand the underlying cause can help develop protective factors.

So, what do we do? We can look at coping as a way of creating a strategy to respond to stress and at the same time proactively building resources to support ourselves better.

Is Learning Coping Skills Helpful?

The short answer is, yes. Many of us use different coping methods in our lives depending on the situation, which can sometimes look like- sleeping when things are difficult, eating fast food before exams due to stress, shopping when we feel sad, and the like. Generally, these are seen as unhealthy coping strategies because of the long-term harm they can cause when we use them in excess. Psychologists and healthcare professionals encourage learning and practicing healthy coping strategies. These strategies are created to focus more on wellbeing and less on causing long-term harm- this way we can use them for a long time.

What are the different types of coping skills?

As mentioned above, when we think of coping, we look at them as Healthy or Unhealthy Coping Methods or Adaptive and Maladaptive coping. Healthy or Adaptive coping encourages us to face our emotions, manage them, and also target our thoughts to find some solution to our concerns. Maladaptive coping or Unhealthy coping is more about trying to avoid or escape our emotions and our stressors. (Note: Avoiding and escaping isn’t always bad as mentioned later but too much of this can keep us stuck in a cycle of endless distress)

But we can also look at coping as these following types as per a compilation of articles and chapters-

1) Problem-focused- This coping style is used to plan things out to solve the root of the stress. Let’s say, that when A loses their job, they will use problem-solving coping when they approach ex-colleagues or friends to seek other opportunities. It can also be new ways A might build their resume, and create opportunities in terms of their work.

2) Emotion-focused- This is a coping style that relies on decreasing, eliminating, or tolerating the behavioral (crying, anger outbursts, etc.), emotional (sad, etc.), and physical (fast heartbeat, clammy hands, etc.) results of a stressful situation. This can be done by practicing breathing exercises, seeking social support, or positive self-talk.

3) Meaning making — This style of coping isn’t as well researched, but we can cope with trying to understand the situation causing stress, and our reaction to it. Trying to understand what the reasons are a job loss has happened and what it would mean for our job search. This is so that we can positively reframe the situation and not let it overwhelm us.

4) Religious/spiritual coping- Many of us might move towards spirituality or religion to make sense of all the stressful things happening to us. There is not as much research about it, but the existing information shows that it can be a helpful way to make sense of our life — especially, when we take an optimistic outlook of the events. It can also become unhelpful when we turn to blaming a higher power or not taking accountability for our part in this.

5) Approach-focused and Avoidance-focused coping- These were first suggested by Susan Roth and Lawrence Cohen. These coping methods simply mean whether we are trying to cope by avoiding the problem at hand or are approaching it head-on and trying to deal with it (it is kind of similar to problem-focused coping). But the interesting thing is, that they did not highlight avoidance as unhealthy coping and approach as healthy coping style. Some research has shown that avoiding a stressful situation can have short-term benefits and as long as we pair it with approaching the problem later, it may be an effective way of handling our emotions.

6) Voluntary and Involuntary coping- Bruce Compas and his colleagues spoke about three dimensions of coping. One of them was voluntary and involuntary coping strategies. They said that we make conscious choices to deal with stressful or overwhelming situations, -like trying to solve a problem, practicing a routine, or involuntarily going through the events through negative self-talk or blame.

All these methods mentioned can overlap with each other too. A research paper also showed that just because we know healthy ways of coping, it doesn’t mean that we will use it all the time. They found in research with young adults that many of them used healthy ways of coping when the stressful situation was mild but relied progressively more on unhealthy coping strategies when the situation became moderately stressful and severely stressful. This highlights an important point in how we deal with negative situations

Every strategy we learn in psychology, therapy, or through medical interventions (in hospitals, and clinics for both physical and psychological well-being) has the possibility of not working for all the situations we face. But here are a few things we can do to make sure that we can make the best of the strategies we learn.

What can we do about it?

1. Practicing Flexibility- Studies have shown that people deal with what life throws at them a lot better when some amount of flexibility is employed when using different coping mechanisms.

Let me give an example- Let’s say someone we know has a major exam coming up and they are so overwhelmed by it that they emotionally eat to cope with the emotions. This person will be emotionally flexible if they can realize whether a coping style is helping them or not and change to other more effective ways of coping. It would mean that they understand that emotional eating isn’t really helpful, so they instead reach out to a friend to talk about their situation, sit and create a study plan to do more streamlined preparations, or set a routine so that they can bring some predictability to an unpredictable (how they will do in the exam) situation.

Practicing coping flexibility may be easier if we make a list of healthy coping skills that may have worked in the past. Additionally making a list that includes different types of coping like problem-solving coping, emotional copy, spiritual coping, approach, and avoidance coping can also help.

2. Shifting focus on things that bring up feelings of joy or fulfillment during stressful periods-

Even when we are trying to cope with different stressful/overwhelming situations like moving to a new place, a high-demand job, the loss of loved ones, or big life transitions, we might end up inadvertently focusing on these aspects of our lives. We might focus on managing our emotions, problem-solving, or finding support.

These can be helpful, but a paper shared how increasing positive emotions in addition to coping with stressors can make dealing with negative life events easier. So, doing that brings joy or is rewarding can dampen the effects of stress and balance heart rate and hormones more. People who experience more positive emotions might give in to the effects of stress less often.

But it is easier said than done, especially since the situations that cause these emotions might be present in different intensities for everyone. So, if you notice that maintaining optimism or positive emotions is becoming difficult, not engaging in self-blame may be the first step to take, in addition to seeking outside support.

3. Talking to a professional or a person not involved in the situation- Therapy can help manage stress. Since most efficient therapists are trained to provide insight and encourage us to think differently, they can help us find the root causes of our stressors, find support, and practice effective coping skills and life skills. In case therapy is impossible, it is still good to seek support from a family, friend, or a trusted person who isn’t involved in the situation (talking it out, focusing on planning, the empathy from a loved one, etc. can act as a balm during these situations).

4. Practicing life skills — Unlike coping skills, life skills do not focus on problems but more so on equipping the person with effective tools to handle any situation. Some of the essential life skills can include — Problem-solving strategies or decision-making strategies, interpersonal skills, creative and critical thinking, empathy, and …. coping skills. Life skills like interpersonal communication might make it easier for someone to use problem-focused or support-seeking (emotion-focused) coping better and verbalize emotions better.

Stress or unpleasant experiences will be present in varying intensities in our lives and while we might not be able to control it, we can make sure that the way we respond helps us in the long run to maintain our physical and emotional health.

Links and References mentioned-

Algorani, E. B., & Gupta, V. (2023, April 24). Coping mechanisms. StatPearls [Internet]. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK559031/

American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Apa Dictionary of Psychology. American Psychological Association. https://dictionary.apa.org/coping-mechanism

Coping strategies. Coping Strategies — an overview | ScienceDirect Topics. (n.d.-a). https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/coping-strategies

Coping strategies. Coping Strategies — an overview | ScienceDirect Topics. (n.d.-b). https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/coping-strategies

Hawkins, S., McKenzie, V., & Frydenberg, E. (2006). Coping skills training to adolescent girls in a small group counselling context. The Australian Educational and Developmental Psychologist, 23(1), 69–90. https://doi.org/10.1017/s081651220002887x

Kato, T. (2020, November 17). Examination of the coping flexibility hypothesis using the coping flexibility scale-revised. Frontiers. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.561731/full

Leger, K. A., Charles, S. T., & Almeida, D. M. (2020, March). Positive emotions experienced on days of stress are associated with less same day and next day negative emotion. Affective science. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8188996/

Metro Health & Medical Preparedness Coalition. (n.d.). Coping mechanisms and when they become harmful. https://www.metrohealthready.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/COPING-ON-TEMPLATE.pdf

Winarsunu, T., Iswari Azizaha, B. S., Fasikha, S. S., & Anwar, Z. (2023, April 5). Life skills training: Can it increases self esteem and reduces student anxiety?. Heliyon. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10121462/